AKA Driver: The Long, Dangerous Road to Understanding One Song

For years I misunderstood AKA Driver. Turns out, the answer was painfully simple. A They Might Be Giants song breakdown you didn’t know you needed.

The First Time I Heard AKA Driver

When I first heard AKA Driver, I was certain that once I obtained my driver’s license, everything about it would finally click into place. There was this vague idea of a long road trip. What is an AKA driver? What’s a “NyQuil Driver”? How would it feel to drive somewhere (anywhere) while this song played?

All I needed to do to unlock the meaning was start driving.

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Meet the Song

This is a fifth track on the John Henry album from They Might Be Giants. It features John Flansburgh’s vocals along with his expertise on both electric and acoustic guitar. John Linnell provides backup vocals and organ while the drumming comes from Brian Doherty - and it is truly the star of the show.

Even today, I can close my eyes while listening and imagine I’m driving alone down a desolate stretch of road at night. But when I first heard it, that feeling was just out of reach. I didn’t understand it yet. I hadn’t earned it.

My First Car (It Was Bad)

When I was little, I had an uncle that moved to the Bahamas and he wasn’t taking his 1980-something Subaru with him. Instead, he parked it under a tree on our property and put a tarp over it. A decade later, after I turned 16, I get a letter from him. He told me that if I can clean it up and get it running, I can have that car.

My dad agreed to help, which meant I was about to learn a painful truth: anytime he helps with car stuff, a new problem will be created in the process. It's a perpetual cycle of automotive chaos.

This car was a swampy, moldy pile of trash. We scrubbed mildew off the exterior and had to deep-clean every inch of the interior. The seats were damp, smelled like stagnant pond water, and essentially felt like an impossible mistake. But it was my ticket to freedom, and my eventual key to understanding AKA Driver.

Visual Approximation of my first car before it looked like it was discovered inside the lost city of Atlantis.

Everything About This Was Unsafe

This car couldn’t idle without stalling. So at stoplights, I’d shift to neutral and keep one foot on the brake while the other lightly tapped the gas to keep it alive. For music, I set a cassette boombox on the passenger seat, powered by a brick of D batteries.

It was the most unreliable, probably-illegal vehicle for a brand-new driver. But it was mine.

The fuel gauge didn’t work unless the tank was more than half full. I was not good at keeping the tank full. So often I was playing a game of “Will I Make It?” Russian Roulette on the way to my job a grocery bagger or to my guitar lessons. I only ran out of gas once, just before I coasted into an AM/PM.

Character was being built. Dues were being paid. That’s what I told myself.

A Real Life Lesson in Physics

One day, I agreed to drive my ex-girlfriend home after school before I went to guitar practice - it was out of my way but I wasn’t totally over her and acts of service are sort of my predominant love language. After dropping her off, I hit a busy intersection and waited. Seven cars back. Car in neutral. One foot on the brake. One on the gas. Trying not to stall.

In my rear view mirror, I see a car coming over a hill behind me and approaching my car. It seemed to be traveling at a speed that suggested it wasn’t intending on coming to a stop. I watched it as the space between my car and theirs grew smaller and smaller. This driver did not seem to understand that two objects could not occupy the same space at the same time.

It slammed into me. My feet instantly removed from both pedals. I slammed into the car directly in front of me and my head whipped forward and back. Door windows shattered as I was sprayed with glass. I vaguely remember the driver in front and the demon who had just tried to extinguish my life from this realm, both standing at my window to see if I was alright.

I drove my accordioned Subaru back to my girlfriend’s house like nothing happened. I was fine, some physical therapy aside, but the car was totaled.

RIP Subaru. You were garbage. Every memory of you is bad.

Shortly after all of this, as I’d listen to AKA Driver, I’d realize that it’s really just a song for the driver who needs to get somewhere asap but is facing a very long stretch of road ahead. There’s no time for getting gas, slowing down, or dealing with the slower cars around them; the cars that are moving across the asphalt as if on Nyquil. Those Nyquil drivers need to move aside or be moved aside.

So, What the Heck is an “AKA” driver?

It hit me later that AKA Driver was a song for someone in a rush. Someone with no time to gas up, who’s stuck behind slow, sleepwalking drivers clogging the road like they’re medicated.

Hey, NyQuil driver
It’s NyQuil driving time
Get out my lane, get out my way

I suppose that day, I was the Nyquil Driver. Engine in idle, car not moving. When a driver with a singular goal needed me to be out of their way.

One question remained unanswered. What was an “AKA” driver?

My best friend and I would refer to the song as Also Known As Driver - as we were want to do. The local video store, “AV Video,” was fondly referred to by us as “Audio Visual Video,” until I worked there and learned that it stood for Auburn Valley Video. Named for the location of their first store.

The mystery of AKA drivers was lost to time. Unresolved as my world moved on. Decades would pass. I’d drive all sorts of cars, have children, wives (not at the same time), and work so many different jobs. Until I sat down to write this essay.

The Truth Revealed

During a St. Louis show in the ’90s, Flansburgh hyped the next night’s gig in Chicago by saying: “It’s just a full day’s drive away!” Insinuating that this audience buy tickets and make the 300 mile drive to the next show as well. That banter inspired what became NyQuil Driver; the original song title.

While freedom of speech lets you sing about NyQuil, it does not let you print “NyQuil” on the album packaging if you're trying to sell it. To avoid legal trouble, the band changed the name to AKA Driver and didn’t print the lyrics in the liner notes.

Turns out, calling it “Also Known As Driver” wasn’t entirely wrong.

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In the End

All that time, I had thought I didn’t “get” this song because I hadn’t driven yet. So many other fans probably understood the reference immediately while I assumed my lack of driving on first listen was the reason I didn’t understand. There’s probably a larger life lesson I could apply here but I don’t think I’ll ever stop overthinking or over analyzing things that have the simplest explanations.

I love that my confusion about AKA Driver sat unresolved for so long. There’s something comforting about the idea that some questions ( even dumb ones that forget you had) can find their answers in due time.

Have you ever found an answer to a long unanswered question only to realize that the answer was painfully simple and obvious the entire time? Share it in the comments and help me feel better about sharing all of this, please.

Wanna Keep This Road Trip Going?

I don’t write these because I’m trying to go viral. I write them because they feel like therapy with my favorite band as background music. If you want to support this whole weird project and get some extras too, consider upgrading to a paid tier.